I realised after doing the last one of these (me) that it might be a bit awkward to do more, simply because I didn’t want people to get mad at me. But then I though, “ah screw it”.
Name: Sal DiCello
Age: Indeterminate. I know he keeps talking about retirement, so I’m gonna say..50-ish?
Job: Ah, I know this! He’s a firefighter. Quite how one fights a fire is unclear. Some sort of kung fu, maybe.
What do you like to do in your spare time? Ok, look, full disclosure – I only decided to do this ten minutes ago, so I haven’t actually asked Sal this question. But hell, I wouldn’t be any sort of writer if I couldn’t just make stuff up. So let’s say Sal is a big fan of competitive knitting, and also likes long walks on the beach. Or something.
In any case, Sal is great. Timing wise, he’s generally very consistent, in that he generally show up between 20 and 45 minutes late – mostly for the start of the session, but occasionally for a tackle too. Recently I’ve noticed he’s started to venture upfield a lot more too, which is very disconcerting when you feel relaxed about just passing the ball out of the back and then suddenly – bam! – there is, haring at you like a pitbull given a dynamite suppository.
(hey, maybe the martial art Sal uses to fight fires is Tyke-wondo. Because he’s a tyke, geddit? Oh sod you then)
Ratings
Stats
Blocks per game: at least 38
Apologies when he didn’t actually do anything wrong (total): 4982 to date.
Avg. ankles tapped: 5
Most likely to say: Hey buddy! How are you doing?
Least likely to say: *@#$%^& people, you’re all #%&#@$%& idiots.
